0716 CONCERNING WIDOWS

JULY 16 = 1 TIMOTHY 5

CONCERNING WIDOWS

In the culture of the first century, there was no Social Security, no 401K plans, no use of the word “retirement.” For that matter, there were no nursing homes or retirement communities or moving to temperate climates to enjoy their older years living off their earnings. There was no hospitality industry as such. People got older, they lived in the same house they had, and one day they die. After that, the firstborn son generally got at least a double portion of the estate, if not the whole thing. 

So what happened to widows when their husband died? If there was no Social security or retirement fund, then the man’s widow was suddenly destitute. She had depended upon her husband for years, and now she would depend upon her children to provide for her. If, of course, they had children. So to be a widow in that culture could be a truly dangerous situation.

In steps the church, which takes seriously the command to “honor your father and mother.” One of the clearest ways to honor your mother would be to care for her, feed her, provide for her needs for the rest of her days. But what about those widows who are “widows indeed?” That would be those who have lost their husbands and have also lost their children, or never had children. They are truly in need. And so the church sets up a ministry to help provide for those widows, and all is well. Right?

Well, there are a few exceptions that seem to come up as questions. What about this? What about that? Paul is answering some of the general principles to answer those questions. He opens by saying,

“Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.” 

These are the “widows indeed,” with no children or other outside support. “Proper recognition” probably means providing food and medical care, possibly even housing or other needs that come up.

“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”

But here is where families learn the full extent of the commandment that says “honor your father and mother.” This commandment contains the promise “that it may go well with you and you may live long on the earth.” Take care of your parents, and you will honor them and honor God, and it will go well for you, and you are likely to live long on the earth.

“The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 

There is a positive final chapter for a widow indeed, if she makes use of her station to engage in prayers and to put her hope in God. She might be like Anna in the temple who saw Jesus as a baby and prophesied over him. She might be an honored matriarch of multiple generations, known for her wisdom and being an example of how to graciously age and complete the course set for her.

But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 

But there is another story of the widow who turns out to be a taker who is living for pleasure. She is not a source of wisdom, not an example to follow. She is simply waiting for death to come and interrupt her responsibility-free life.

Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

Once again, it is commanded that children honor their parents, so Paul is saying that if they continue to withhold from their widowed mother, they are being worse than an unbeliever, because they bear the reputation of the heart of Christ in their life.

No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. 

There is a reason for each of Paul’s requirements. 

Over 60

Had been faithful to her husband.

Well known for her good deeds (e.g., bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble, devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.)

As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 

That first requirement of being over 60 is elaborated on now. A younger widow may want to remarry, which is fine. But here we discover that those on “the list” seem to have included a life-long vow of chastity, and the vow would be broken if she remarries. As Jesus said, let your yes be yes, and anything more than that comes from the evil one.

Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 

And here we see something that Paul has noticed before. People, and particularly women, being strongly relationally-driven, tend to get into the business of others, and a prayer request sort of turns into a gossip session. Plus, if they are now being cared for so that they don’t need to work in order to eat, they might fall into the temptation of becoming idle. As Paul says elsewhere, if a man will not work. He shall not eat.

So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan. 

So Paul offers counsel. It is not a command, but it is some advice. Some of those younger women who made this vow ended up leaving the faith altogether because of the church’s generosity. The support for these women became an enablement, not a help. They spent their time drifting away from prayer and toward things of the earth. 

This, by the way, is the biggest problem with any “equal” program of support. Some people need the support, and having that, their hearts respond the way as would be expected. But others who get the same thing end up taking it for granted and they drift off to being more worldly, the opposite of what the goal was.

If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.”

And here is the closing practical advice. A woman has volunteered to take care of some widows who are in need. Maybe those widows were part of her family. Maybe her husband brings home enough money that they can afford to have a few houseguests. Maybe she and they are doing their own business and it is working for them to make fabric or sell at the market or whatever. In any case, Paul says to let them continue so as to avoid being an unneeded burden to the church.

Let me try to put all this together for some very practical charitable advice from Paul to us:

1. Some people can work and they do work. They do not need to receive charity. But they generously give to charity so that there will be no need among the church.
2. Some people can work but they will not work. Do not give them charity, or the free money will only enable them with too much free time, which often ruins relationships and even faith.
3. Some people cannot work. They are the truly needy, and we focus our charitable efforts on such people. It is equitable and right, and can help the receivers to honor the Lord by using their energies for what is good.
4. Some people might take a vow of chastity, poverty and obedience. Support those people, for they are dedicating their work-able strength to go toward the kingdom.