0609 UNWISE COMPARISONS (CONFESSIONS OF A RESPECTAHOLIC)

UNWISE COMPARISONS (CONFESSIONS OF A RESPECTAHOLIC)

Throughout this second letter to the Corinthians, Paul has found himself needing to alternately scold and warn, explain and instruct, defend himself and apologize for 1 Corinthians being such a harsh letter. It’s a dizzying spin through all those emotions and topics. But there is a nugget in the middle of all this that has had a strong impact on me, and that’s what I want to share with you today.

As we have seen, there had been those in Corinth who were critical of Paul and his work, preferring the personality and storytelling of Apollos, or the “super apostles” like Peter and John, who had been followers of Jesus from the beginning. Paul then felt the need to commend himself and demonstrate his own defense. But he did not want to stoop to making comparisons and getting off the subject of Jesus because he is comparing himself with others.

He points out that some of these critics boasted of their own credentials by classifying themselves and then comparing themselves to those in another classification. Or they compare themselves to others by saying something like, “I have been in Christ longer than he has” or “My miracle-to-message ratio is 4.3 which is higher than all but one of the original inner circle.” Paul could choose to enter into such comparisons, and he would be likely to win. But he feels it better to take the higher ground. In the midst of it he says, 

“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

‭Here is the nugget of wisdom I want to learn: It is unwise to compare yourself to other people. More personally, I am unwise to compare myself with others. It might not be a sin. But it is unwise, just the same.

Hi, I’m Ken. And I’m a RESPECTAHOLIC. I am hopelessly addicted to myself and to what others think of me. Did I tell you that I am deeply competitive? The very word “compete” invites comparisons. And I join in on comparisons with a strong desire to make the comparison favor myself. Something deep inside me feels that I am unworthy or inferior, and if I can “win” at some comparison, then I can respect myself as being worthy to breathe air that could be in the lungs of someone more worthy, while I go crawl under a rock somewhere. 

Why can’t I just be a child of God, you ask? Is it not enough to know that I am loved and have been raised well, and to trust that whatever God calls me to do, He equips me to do it. (Remember Moses at the burning bush?) There is no need for fear. No need for shame. Not for pride or a superiority complex, either. Right. But you’re talking to a true respectaholic here, and giving it up is not so easy.

So, what if I make comparisons only in those areas where I win? That means the only parts of my life that I can accept are those that are better than others. What does that do to my spiritual life? What if I am smarter than 95% of people. Is that enough? What about the 4% who are above me? How about if I am a better runner than 99% of others? Is that enough for me to feel good about who I am? What if I am a major league all star? Is that enough? My point is that NO, it is NEVER enough to compare yourself to others.

So I recommend you to not learn your I.Q. It is one of the purest comparison tools available. If your self esteem is dependent on “winning” the award as “smartest in the room,” what happens when you meet someone who is smarter than you are? And what happens when they turn you into a number that is less than 100, below average? 

Whatever you do in life, avoid measuring yourself by comparing with others. Do not let your self esteem be determined by whether or not you “win.” Compare yourself to your potential, not to that of others. Compare yourself to Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, and the one in whose footsteps we learn to walk. How are you doing, compared to how you COULD be doing, how you SHOULD be doing? That is the only question to ask yourself.

Besides finding my esteem, why else would I want to use comparisons with others? Comparisons provide me with ammunition to PROMOTE myself, to raise support for myself, to spread the essential news that I deserve your love and respect.

So, you ask, how am I supposed to think of myself? Where does my self-worth come from? My answer to that question is, Your question contains the problem, when you said, “think of myself?” Your very problem is that you think of yourself. All day long you think of yourself. Stop thinking of yourself! You are not the main person in this movie! You are a bit player, and I mean not just a small part. You are “Storm Trooper #7” whose appearance was simply to jump around a corner only to be shot and fall down, while the hero runs over the top of my impressively-realistic dead body. But the good news is that because of the armor, I can also be “Storm Trooper #12” and “Storm Trooper #73.” Am I an important part of the King’s movie? No. Not important. But essential. Essential for demonstrating the amazing reflexes and aim of the hero of the movie.

As Paul says, “But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.””

If I have anything to say about myself, it is to marvel at the grace of Jesus. Amen.